i think i remember the day you began your build in my brain.
i knew your name, but had only heard it through words and phrases. but that day i considered it. your name. this new way of vowels and sounds. staying their place in my mind. realizing previous mentions at lake house parties and baseball games. recognizing that one moment we shared, hiding away from everyone to just experience alone. together. but not knowing. how we held the quiet inside, chaos all around. just us two.
but that day…the day…your name made me want to see your face. your long nose and blue eyes. the length of your weight. tall and thin. finding out the fuss and becoming the vacuum to the purpose of your existence.
everyone was swimming. i just wanted to see. your sun-glistened body. the way you picked yourself up. how people made you laugh. and the sight that followed.
i just wanted to feel. feel you getting closer. eyeing your way to me. charming the space. to get where you needed to go. giving me a lift. helping me towards, where you were.
cause i think i remember hearing, you wanted me there. your desire coming through, all of those misplaced years. of us being two. in the same room, unaware…
of the first time you would give me that feeling. Of 5 years to come. 5 years of staying, that would eventually grow. from just hearing, into seeing, into smelling, into touching, into tasting, then into knowing. everything. the blueness of skies. the force of a pull. the reasons for warmth. the thievery of cold. the highness of my mind. the depth of my soul. the light in all eyes. the reasons for why. so many answers leading to more questions. so many springs, leading to falls. definite and curious. alive and broken. basic humanity. universal weight.
the sound of your voice. the sound of your voice. the sound of your voice.
so that day, i found the door. an entrance to a room. a private viewing of what it was like, to finally be, inside of your head. starting the road to your buried heart. stealing the breath from your boundless eyes. your walk of love. my eternal desire. so that i could remember, when you first entered mine.