1. I don’t like following rules. or at least i’ve come into this idea of opposing restrictions. it’s invigorating and interesting to see what happens when boundaries are pushed.
2. i like interesting things/people/ideas/everythings
3. i like things that are challenging. everyday i unconsciously challenge myself whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally, i’m constantly taking the more difficult route.
4. i’ve changed, i feel, a lot. even now, i still feel like a supportive role in everything i do, however, i’ve realized for the first time ever that i don’t have to be that way. and that’s all i ever was before. the great girlfriend or student or employee. but i don’t want to be that anymore. i want to be a good person and do good things, but not for everyone else.
5. i don’t like it when someone tells me i can’t do something.
6. working on myself is the most difficult thing i’ve ever experienced. i’ve experienced incredible heartache, but trying to figure myself out is the deepest and most convoluted pain i’ve ever known.
7. specific things that currently move me to action: a really, really good song / a piece of art that looks like something i’d create / needing to go to the bathroom / whenever my boyfriend smiles or asks me a question or looks at me or really just does anything / whenever my family needs my advice or help / dogs and puppies / playing a really difficult guitar licks / playing live / looking at a school catalog to see what else i can learn / figuring out a new outfit / listening to a really jazzy and laid back hip hop beat with crazy hi hats or snares / responding to a very disrespectful person who is COMPLETELY wrong about their cause / playing solitaire online
8. i’m not a fan of authority. i know there’s a bigger world inside of my head that doesn’t have to deal with time sheets or schmoozing. i think i’m just more concerned with my selfish ideals rather than how you run your company. i guess that’s why my career has never been something i can completely lose myself in. i’d rather lose myself in myself.
9. the love i feel in relationships has started to take a back seat to the love i’m learning with myself. and i’m still grappling with that.
10. i’m working on my very first art installation that will be debuting this summer at NMASS here in Austin. i’ve got a great mentor working with me, but this is the first time in a few years that i’m ready to take something on that’s bigger than anything i’ve ever known. and i want it to be amazing and can start to feel the determination rumbling around, pushing me…